Struggling to do Everything Right

Summer is almost over. And, it is nothing like I planned it to be. But, I could say it was the best summer ever! Being able to walk to Asbury Park and the beach on any of my days off, was great. But, I ended up most days off working on closing on a Condo in Brick. I'll be in another over 55 community. But, I am concentrating on the reality of my future, monetarily. This one place I found to live isn't very visually appealing and far away from any markets. But, it is possible to walk somewhere, without crossing a major highway. It is also right above the Manasquan river, so I can sit on a bench and have a river to look at (that is just a couple of blocks from me). I really needed to do this. So, it was worth not having many days on the beach. My place is really small, which is perfect for me. And, when I look out the window or come out my door, there is nothing but trees. Most places overlook the parking lot. I plan on making a fairy garden for my grandson to enjoy when he visits. It will also have a special spot for his dinosaurs. I get to see him this week, and we'll paint a fairy door and some rocks to put around one of my trees. I do get three feet around the the house, and the rest is maintained by the HOA YAY! Work, in general, is good for me. I have some struggles here and there. But, then I have my days off to get it back together. And, this week I have a short week, and will end it in Maryland. Overall, it was a great experience to be in Ocean Grove this close to the beach for a season. I thought parking would be a problem. But, it was not. I have made new friends, and kept up with a lot of friends, too. Closing out the summer at the Stone Pony with Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes and then the Ocean Avenue Stompers (my son's band) at Langosta Lounge was the cherry on top. But, it ain't over! Better days are coming! Locals summer, and now I have the time off to really enjoy it! The picture above is a necklace given to me by an Artist friend. It is the brass ring from the Carousel in Asbury Park. Quote of the day: In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. Theodore Roosevelt Song of the Day: Little Miss Can't Be Wrong Spin Doctors (Then and Now) Rock stars who continue to perform are my inspiration! Especially, the ones who perform in the rain!!!! NOW: Little Miss Can't Be Wrong Spin Doctors

My Top Ten Goal Setting Rules

1. I graduated with a degree in Art. I don't follow the rules! I did and it didn't work out. I am now enjoying more freedom, and not setting any rules for myself and others. 2. Make a vision board ( only if you want :) ) It helps you focus on what your visions are for the future. 3. Write it down. Keep a blog. Handwrite on your calender. Use post it notes. You will amaze yourself in the next year all the things you have accomplished. 4. Try not to buy anything new. Make do with what you have. This is a big one for me, as I have purged so much. I don't miss or need anything right now! That is a great feeling. 5. Always be thankful 6. Don't stop thinking about the future. Thinking about the future, and worrying about the future is tough sometimes. But, focus on the reality and make it happen. Then sprinkle in what would make you feel joyful. Also, try to do this without spending any money. 7. Does it require a lot of love or a lot of work? How do you look back at what you have worked hard for. Most of it came with love of what you were doing. So, make sure you spend your time on what you love. 8. Make your story a good one. Look ahead to what goals are realistic. Write them down. Nike says it best: Just Do It! 9. Be inspired by words (quotes) music, nature, scents, and tastes of the season, and surround yourself with only the things you love. For me, this means I can't watch the news anymore or the weather. Too many times I wasted time, because I let the weather forecast rule my day. I can say, right now, I could sit in the rain outside and be happy. Just to not let rain stop me from doing anything is a big deal for me. 10. The biggest one! Realize everything does NOT have to be perfect. This means what you think of yourself and body image, especially. I am in the best place in my life, as far as that goes right now. I have not worn make up in two years. I don't get my hair dyed anymore. I lost thirty pounds and have not gained a single ounce in eight months. BE comfortable in your own skin. It can save you a lot of money and I feel better! I didn't share my visual board until I felt that some of the pictures are going to come true for me. It was a wish to find a home to buy in January (when I made this board) and now it has come true. September in the last few years has become better for me to set goals. I am celebrating my first year at a job I find challenging, but I really do love. I am celebrating buying a home. I am celebrating the Artist in me. I am celebrating me AND you. I want to drink as much champagne as possible! I took a really fun collage class and the teacher was popping champagne every hour. We ended up with one of the corks. When some people came to our table to see what we were up to. They loved the cork I bedazzled. Meanwhile, I spent two hours on my collage, and two seconds dipping the cork in glue and rolling it in some sparkly embellishments. This is the KEY.....time is prescious. Make note of what you are paying attention to. If you love it......give it your time. If not, move on! Make sure you include some magic into whatever you do, too. I think of it this way. I look back at working the last fifty years and my work life and think "how did I do that". I also think of my thirty nine year marriage and think that too. If you think of it as magical, it really is. But, the word I have trouble with this year is love. And, I spent my time and focus on love and that made it magical. Again, I didn't say it was perfect, I said it was magical. And, I would not change a minute of my past. Because, I learned how to focus on the good, and I will continue living out my dreams. I am looking forward to the future, and the most magical part of my life. And, that is my family. I am SO blessed to be G-MA and I want to be looked at as loving and magical. That is my ultimate goal!!! Quote of the day: Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning. Gloria Steinem Song of the Day: Follow Your Heart Michael Franti Spearhead

The Pretender

Let me introduce myself. I am pictured above. My name is Tinker Balls and I am the daughter of Tinker Bell and Jiminy Cricket. I have had the pleasure of meeting Geralyn Stelle (the writer of this blog). We met when she was a child on the shore of Wreck Pond in the most beautiful town of Spring Lake, NJ. She was four years old. I have to say this was the best part of her story. She was a carefree, but caring child. I was happy to spend some of that time with her before she started school. I have come in out of her life at times when I think she needs my creative spirit. And, sadly, I left her alone, mostly during her thirty-nine year marriage. The picture above was taken of me on June 1, 2021. It was six months into her time home after the loss of her job. I do admit I entered into and out of her time, at the store April Cornell. But, as far as her marriage goes, I thought she had it made. I thought she didn't need me. Boy, was I wrong. The day she came through my village and captured a picture of me in the Millburn Fairy trail wasn't my best day either. I was shunned by the rest of the fairies. Because, no one is ever to see us, let alone capture a picture of one of us. So, I jumped into her car, without her knowing it. And, I am sorry, but I am the one responsible for the unraveling of her marriage. I know and she knows this could be the best thing that ever could happen to her. But, sadly the shock and truth of it all is just devastating. But, enough of that. Today is a wonderful day. She will now learn the truth about me, and a kind of weight will be lifter from her. She has always wanted to tell her story, but good ol' fear gets in her way. Well, I am here to take that weight off of her. Because, she feels she has a really good story to tell. She has been told to stop writing, because some who knew the truth of her real life, said it sounded too much like a fairy tale. And, they knew the real part of her life wasn't so pretty. This is where I come in, so I can tell her story and show life is like a fairy tale. There are always obstacles to overcome. No one, no place on earth, not one thing is perfect. Not even me, Tinker Balls, we all have our flaws. Now, on to the good news! Geralyn is off to close on her new home today. And, the first thing she is going to do is make it as enchanting as possible. She wants it to be a place of whimsy and love for her grandchild to come visit. It is so good to see her happy and looking forward to the future. She is not going to have much time to write. I hope you don't mind I have taken over here, but I am her true spirit. Quote of the day: "Take the straight and narrow path And if you start to slide, Give a little whistle! Give a little whistle! And always let your conscience be your guide." - Jiminy Cricket. "Your talent makes you who you are, you should be proud of it." Tinker Bell No one, no place on earth, not one thing is perfect. Not even me, Tinker Balls, we all have our flaws. Tinker Balls Song of the day: The Pretender Jackson Browne

Celebrating Every Day

Some days (even very difficult ones) by the grace of God (or Grace Jones!) you just have to get out there and celebrate life. I had a fabulous weekend with good friends and a spash of Art. I was so happy to catch up with a group of friends, I don't see often. We waitressed together at Evelyn's in Belmar, and what fun it was to catch up with each other. I had an early morning class on Sunday, and was so happy to see familiar faces from when I had the store in Asbury Park. And, I sat with the crew from Madison Marquette and was happy to hear about the art scene. And, experience it for myself. It is thriving and full of excitement. I am really looking forward to the Sea Hear Now music festival with all the music, but especially the Art! My class was with Hollywould Studios (sorry I forgot her name). But, she has the mural I took my photo in front of for my birthday. A huge Marie Antionette image with a cake. Her style is usually with an icon figure adding collage of papers, paint and glitter. She is just as fun as her collages, dressed for the part in a tu tu. Every hour popping a bottle of champagne followed by the best giggle. She is bright and fabulous and the three hours went by in the blink of an eye. I was excited to pay tribute to Dolly Parton. I love her quote about rainbows, her love of butterflies and her kick ass spirit of making her own place on this earth called "Dollywood". Hollywould is also from Tennesee which added to the fun of honoring Dolly. I am also about finished with Dolly Parton's book: Run Rose Run she co-wrote with James Patterson. I am so hoping to get to Dollywood by the end of the year. It would make for a great birthday trip. I'll keep dreaming..... Quote of the day: "The way I see it, you gotta put up with the rain if you want the rainbow" Dolly Parton Song of the Day: She's A Rainbow The Rolling Stones

Desert Rose

I wake up this morning to a song playing in my head. The same verse swimming through my brain. The thoughts come racing in. And, I try to have the song lull be back to sleep. But, no it goes on for awhile and I let it. I look at the clock and I think it is alright. It is after 5am, so I can rise out of this slumber. I hear the rain on my windowsill. And, then realize it is the voice of Sting singing Rain. I tried to wait as long as possible before I reach out for my computer. I type in rain and Sting into You Tube. I go through the song titles with rain in it, and then I find the song. I listen, and it a good song for this morning. I am off today, and for the first day in awhile, I don't have a list of "to dos" to check off. I went to bed reading magazines, and thinking about lavender fields. So, today I hope to make some wall hangings. I was hoping to get to the beach. But, a lazy day inside wouldn't hurt. Quote of the day: “The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Song of the Day: Sting Desert Rose

Hallelujah

Hallelujah is a word included in many songs of praise. But, when I just googled it, it came up as a song title written by Leonard Cohen. I went to see the documentary about the song in Princeton yesterday afternoon. I loved every minute of it. I always wondered about the lyrics of the song and what it meant. And, it was clear from the movie it was for the listener's ear to decide. And, the person who produced the song with Leonard put it best. He never asked Leonard anything about the lyrics, as that is not the writers job is to have to explain it. Just like a masterpiece painting. The Artist doesn't call it a masterpiece. Viewers through history will end up deciding that. His story is very interesting and a lot about the Jewish faith. Also, he spent many years discovering his zen. And, to see him perform and tour in his seventies, he certainly found it. The song always make me stop and listen. And, to hear so many versions and the struggles the song went through even to be heard by me was astounding. I first was introduced to it through Shrek. But, there were many times after Sandy I saw videos on facebook of this song. Spiritually, this year I have been on quite the journey. And, facing life and all of it's struggles has been daunting. But, hopefully I will be arriving to a place in my life with more of a peace of mind. And, honestly to think of my life as suffering would be a lie. But, as I go through my year in Ocean Grove I realize so much of my view on life is of the secret suffering so many people go through. And, after a church service one Sunday in early summer, I think I realized it. Brought up in the Catholic Church the most visual part of the church is Jesus dying on the cross. And, that visual was a big part of growing up. We always had a crusifix above our doors. And, it was supposed to guard us. As, I grew up I grew farther away from the church. I raised my children Catholic and the only thing I brought into our house was an advent wreath. We also had a statue of Mary that came with our last home we purchased eleven years ago. But, in this town the visual is different. There are crosses with sayings like "All In". And, a lot of talk about Jesus carrying the weight of the pain for you. And, this year I have been trying to shed the weight of my thoughts. And, sadly that hasn't happened, yet. But, throughout the year I have felt happy, alive and more care free. I say this lightly, because I am so worried about my future. But, I am concentrating on that. And, if all goes well, I won't have to worry as much soon. Most of all, I woke up this morning remembering to keep music in my heart and soul. And, I will keep listening to it to motivate me. I made a reel to "Firework" written my Katy Perry today on instagram. She wrote that song. And, that is my "go to" song. This month I also made a bulletin board at work for us to be motivated. Today, I think I will play that song for us for motivation. Do you have a "go to song"? Quote of the day: You don't have to feel like a waste of space You're original, cannot be replaced If you only knew what the future holds After a hurricane comes a rainbow Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow Lyrics from "Firework" written by Katy Perry Song of the day: Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen The clean version for Shrek

Come Out of the Darkness

I am approaching the one year anniversary of starting back to work after being "home" for nine months last year. I have been adjusting to single life, studio apartment living, car troubles, dental issues all along the way. It has been a journey. This week I shared a card to remind ourselves to be kind to ourselves. And, I did just the opposite. Each day has become a challenge, as a feeling of doom and gloom is starting to take over. But, luckily it is not so bad. I am still going for walks and calling on friends when I start to feel like I am on a downward spiral. Yesterday, I ended the day by going to the live nativity and get some ice cream (key lime....yum!). And, I came home to some mail. I was SO curious what was in this manilla envelope. It was my wristband and lanyard for SEA HEAR NOW. I am so excited, and really looking forward to the music AND the art. Another mood booster was a phone call from my son. He has been busy and has gotten some good phone calls lately. I also signed up for a collage class in the carosel building in Asbury Park. So, I am in a good place, but I am faced with a multitude of challenges right now. And, they are mostly out of my control. So, onward and upward. I just have to lift my head up and come out of the darkness every now and then. Come out of the darkness is written on the album cover pictured above. I am going to listen to some Stevie Nicks. I have seen her perform twice with Fleetwood Mac. But, I am really looking forward to seeing her by herself. I really enjoy the stories that go along with her songs. And, will love focusing on her song writing. Did you ever see her interview with Oprah? She is amazing!!! Only one more month until Sea Hear Now! Can't wait!!! Quote of the day: “Your graciousness is what carries you. It isn't how old you are, how beautiful you are, or how short your skirt is. What it is, is what comes out of your heart. If you are gracious, you have won the game.” ― Stevie Nicks Song of the day: Landslide Stevie Nicks