Empathy and me

I would say since I closed my store in 2016 I have been still wondering a lot about life and myself. That last year 2015 I looked back on last night in all of my pictures. And, I spent it working full time commuting back and forth to Woodbridge. No vacations, and with my children close by working in the Asbury Park and Philadelphia area. I went to New York City for the stationery show and wandered around looking at greeting card companies to buy cards from. Emily McDowell's was one of them. Because, her cards said so much to me. Her fight cancer card was the best on the market. Her cards made me look at myself, and what I would want to tell someone. Her cards are called awkward etc. And, most of the time socially and even relationships, I feel awkward. It is something I have spent a lifetime trying not to feel like. And, as i get older, I am feeling more comfortable. But, life as it has been played out, has left me vulnerable to all those feelings again. I do feel time is the ultimate healer. And, just giving myself top priority for the last year has really helped me. I also realized how I would put myself in a more vulnerable position to feel more powerful. And, I am still not sure if that is a good thing or not. So, the work continues. But, most of all I feel I can't just stand in hope alone. I have to get out of my comfort zone to feel the power of making things happen for myself. But, most of all, I feel like digging deep (like this post) is going to get me where I want AND need to be. And, in time I can just rest in who I am, and enjoy life to the fullest. That is my ultimate goal.