Amazing Grace

I can't let May get away without writing about the stregnth of the month of May. Each year as I write, I find out little clues of what brings me happiness and Joy. May is the month of most joy for me. Last year, even though I was grieving the loss of my mom and my job, I was coming to some helpful conclusions. I had no idea what was going to happen in the month of June to bring me to the position I am in now. It was really important for me to get to this point in my life. It was really important, I was comfortable in my home and able to process my life. I never used the word process before a couple of years ago. But, more and more I find I have to take some time to really process everything that is coming at me so quickly. So, I can react with grace. Grace.....what does that even mean? Well, the month of May gives me grace. It is the month we celebrate our moms and the Virgin Mary. Hail Mary full of grace starts my favorite prayer. I started this morning watching some videos on You Tube and this video was one in the suggestion to view. And, thankfully it helped me process! I can't let this month go by and not write down the things I am most grateful for. First and foremost, I think I truly am living my life with grace and being true to myself. Second, I would like to thank an amazing amount of women I have met or have known for years who are supporting me with Grace. From my landlord, to the girl who is the receptionist at where I get my car serviced, the women at my dentist office, my gynocologist, my hair stylist, and my co-workers. Then there are my friends I have talked with in person or on the phone who have handled conversations with me with the utmost of grace. And, then my sister who calls me each week to ask how I am doing in every facet of my life. And, finally my daughter who has faced a year of her own unimaginable losses with total grace. This video helped me in so many of the conclusions I was coming to to last May. Then, in June I went into shock and survival mode. Choices were made quickly, but with God by my side I am continuing to see the light. I am in the driver seat. As much I try not to worry about the future, I am getting there, gracefully. My mom when she went through the loss of her parents, the first thing she did was buy a car and the model was a "Spirit" and her bumper sticker said "Let Go Let God". The name of my car is Soul (kia). I am more of a believer of spirts, soul and intuition, then I ever was. And, I feel that is what is leading me on this trail of grace. It's a good trail to be on, it has been really bumpy lately. But, I have an appreciation of where I am now and how I got here. It's all going to ok, by the grace of God. Song of the day: Immaculate Mary sung by children One of my top ten favorite memories of childhood is the May Crownings. But, it does come with the day I was yelled at the most from my mom. And, that was the day I picked flowers from the neighbors yard to give to her without asking the neighbors. Finally, not feeling guilty about that now. And, realizing the things she got most mad at me for, was me trying to make her happy. I spent my life in a very good relationship with my mom and have so much guilt it was never enough. Slowly and especially with the distraction of last year, I realize my life is about me. And, taking ME back as she is......is the greatest gift I have ever been given. Quote of the day: definition of grace: grace noun Definition of grace (Entry 1 of 2) 1a: unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification b: a virtue coming from God c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine assistance 2a: APPROVAL, FAVOR stayed in his good graces barchaic : MERCY, PARDON c: a special favor : PRIVILEGE each in his place, by right, not grace, shall rule his heritage — Rudyard Kipling d: disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency e: a temporary exemption : REPRIEVE 3a: a charming or attractive trait or characteristic Among disagreeable qualities he possessed the saving grace of humor. b: a pleasing appearance or effect : CHARM all the grace of youth — John Buchan c: ease and suppleness (see SUPPLE entry 1 sense 2b) of movement or bearing danced with such grace 4—used as a title of address or reference for a duke, a duchess, or an archbishop 5: a short prayer at a meal asking a blessing or giving thanks 6Graces plural : three sister goddesses in Greek mythology who are the givers of charm and beauty 7: a musical trill, turn, or appoggiatura 8a: sense of propriety or right had the grace not to run for elective office — Calvin Trillin b: the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful accepted his advice with grace grace verb graced; gracing Definition of grace (Entry 2 of 2) transitive verb 1: to confer dignity or honor on The king graced him with the rank of a knight. 2: ADORN, EMBELLISH graveled walks graced with statues — J. A. Michener I like these definitons because like love it is a noun and a verb. P.S. This post was about the women in my life. But, I witnesed my son's grace this week and he is admirable. He spearheaded a fundraiser along with Sarah from Asbury Park Distillery and it was a wonderful event organized and executed with grace. Not just theirs but, to those who attended and the support of the musicians who performed. It was Amazing Grace in action!