Eyes of a Freebird

I am trying. Yes, really trying to get through this year with as many challenges and changes it is bringing as lightly as possible. I am looking at images of butterfies, seagulls, robins and any bird in sight. I am embracing my new freedom. And, trying to look at the world in the most positive light as possible. Most of the time it happens easily. I just wake up that way. But, then there are hard things to get done, and it is out of my control. The anger inside starts to bubble and fill my body with an intense burning feeling. This really isn't happening too much to me lately. Mostly because I am avoiding situations that make me feel this way. I feel optimistic, thank God. And, I am looking forward to the future. But, questions like "what are you going to do? where are you going to live? are you afraid you are not going to find somewhere to live? are asked of me. And, of course, that is my biggest worry. But, I have to look at my life right now, and really soak this in. I may never have this opportunity again. Or, I could do some moving around a lot from summer to winter to figure out how to have this lifestyle for awhile. I just have to have that attitude I had in the beginning of last year. And, just ride this storm out....gracefully. So, today is the perfect day to have a perfect day. I am going to get a lot of tasks completed, but going to enjoy the sunshine with temps in the 50's. I would like to share from the bible what I read at this time last year. It really helped me and I absolutely love waking up to the sights and sounds of the ocean each morning: Sunday, February 28, 2021 Mark 4:1-9 Again, Jesus began to teach beside the sea. Such a very large crowd gathered around him that he got into a boat on the sea and sat there, while the whole crowd was beside the sea on the land. He began to teach them many things in parables, and in his teaching, he said to them: “Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and it sprang up quickly, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched; and since it had no root, it withered away. Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. Other seed fell into good soil and brought forth grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirty and sixty and a hundredfold.” And he said, “Let anyone with ears to hear listen!” Last year I was blessed with eight months of not working to concentrate on building myself up emotionally from my roots up. I was also using this time to mourn my mom and loss of a job I loved. But, I do believe it gave me the stregnth of an oak tree, to be able to withstand the break up of my marriage. I wrote this poem around July when this picture was taken. It was when I was feeling light and free a month after I faced the truth of my marriage and we were separated. Eyes of a Freebird Just say the word and I shall be healed soaring like a bird and landing in a field with sunflowers turning and facing the sun nature has it’s powers of making things get done starting from seeds but ending as flowers pulling out the weeds so a garden can be won When I look at the world from up above please make me see the good and all of the love Let me know the seeds to sow and leave the rest to grow because with each seed I truly know the abundance of beauty is about to burst forth If only I let it be there will be beauty for all to see. I know at the time I wrote this, the hardest thing for me to do was to just "Let it be". I was angry, sad, bitter, and I just wanted to shout from the rooftop how life is not fair. I do still have these feelings and it boils up during this time of house searching, the comptetition, the interest rates going up and the amount of phone calls you get when you reach out to financing and real estate agents. But, today I will begin to take a step back and just let it be for a few weeks. Quote of the day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZzOxWAxde0 The Caged Bird Sings Maya Angelou Song of the day: Never owned the record, but did see them live a few years at Summer Stage of Stone Pony. It could be my favorite song. It makes me feel a wide range of emotions. When I first heard it after my brother died it made me cry, because I felt strongly how he was now a freebird. Freebird Leonard Skynard